There’s something that’s being incredibly overlooked in today’s dating world that worries me. I fear that people aren’t truly getting to know one another and aren’t going on enough cute dates.
I’ve gone on enough dates out to eat or out for a drink at the bar during a championship fight, or to see a movie in the theater or on someone’s couch to be almost done with it, and I am a foodie with a film degree! I’m not saying that I’d ever give up food, drinks, or movies, like ever, I said almost! I just mean that it’s time to get active and play around people! And no, I am not talking about foreplay. Haha
I can honestly say that I have only ever enjoyed one activity date in my life, and I cannot remember the last time I saw or even heard of such a thing happening. I started seeing this one guy and we decided to go kayaking. Cute!! I know. However, everything that could’ve gone wrong did. It was a low tide kind of day and slightly overcast. Well, let me tell you, the black clouds rolled in, there was lightning from time to time and the ocean waves were getting bigger and bigger. On our way back the kayaks got stuck and my date got out like a gentleman and he pulled both kayaks, I like em strong, and in the process, he lost his paddle. Now I would’ve gotten out to help look but I noticed that the current was rapidly picking up and I was in a silent panic mode trying to keep the kayaks from moving out too far. I thought we might die out there if we didn’t get back soon. Thankfully, he did find his paddle and we didn’t die. He was an easy-going guy so every wrong was pure entertainment for us both, mostly him. Although things didn’t work out between “Without a paddle” guy (see what I did there) and I, it was a great experience and I’m glad that I got to share that with him.
It is so important that you know, and I mean really know, who you are getting yourself involved with. Activity dates are a crucial part of any, and all stages of all relationships. Remember all the mischief activity dates you had with your best friends growing up and even in college? It brought you closer together. Why wouldn’t you want to do that with your significant other or potential? Can you make a real decision about someone after just a few dates of food and movies? Come on now. Forget the ‘Netflix and Chill’ session, I have an even better idea.
1.) Go bowling
2.) Play miniature golf
3.) Play laser tag
4.) Race go-karts at the tracks
What you’ll learn:
Is this person a fair winner or a sore loser?
5.) Go ice skating
What you’ll learn:
– If I’m as clumsy as Cait, will this person guide me and take care of me or leave clutched to the wall, like Cait?
– If I am the dominant skater, will this person allow me to help guide them?
– We are not meant to skate on ice. We are terrible at this.
6.) Go kayaking
What you’ll learn:
How this person reacts in situations that are less than ideal.
7.) The Group hang/Double date
– Does this person get along well with my friends?
– Is this person playing nice or do they have a genuine liking for my people?
– Do I like the people that my person has chosen to surround their self with?
– What do my friends think about my significant other?
– Are we cute together or what? Ha
You’re going to learn so much about this human and it’s great whether you two were meant to break or destined to go the distance. Does this person play well? How does this person handle embarrassing situations? Can you trust this person? Can this person be mature and serious but also fun and goofy? Does this person turn up the radio when an old-school rap/80’s pop/90’s/today’s top hit song comes on just to sing and dance? Who is this person?
I’m not saying that any particular approach to dating is necessarily wrong, or that this way is the best way to go about it. Everybody is different and moves at their own pace. The most important part about dating is that you always feel safe, you trust all gut feelings, big and small, and you have absolute fun! I truly hope that this helps someone.
Side Note: Don’t ever be nervous or scared to ask or to tell them what you want. If you want a fun activity date, then go ahead and suggest it. You can try saying something like this, “I really enjoy going out to dinner (or for drinks, or to the movies, etc.), with you but I’d like to change things up a bit and try bowling (or whatever new activity date that sparks your interest).”
If the person that you’re dating refuses to go on an activity date with you and only agrees to very basic and casual settings like going out to eat or to the movies or to someone’s house, they are probably hiding something. It is a major red flag and should be a deal breaker. You are absolutely beautiful and deserve to be shown off to the world. If this person isn’t down with that, then they aren’t deserving of you.